Struggling with Life

Recently, I have been questioning what it means to be alive. We live, we work, but when and how much are we happy. There are so many social stereotypes that we allow to take over our lives… we should do this, we should do that… but really, we are alive only once and how many of us, if given the chance, could honestly say at the end of our lives that it was a fun and enjoyable ride? What about all the bad days at work, at a job that you never really liked, but it paid the bills… or family and friends that were there, but maybe not the way you would really have liked. There are so many aspects of our society (here speaking in the Western culture) that we take for granted. We never stop and ask the question “why”? “Why” am I really at this job that I don’t like. “Why” do I have a house bigger than what I need, or a car greater than my needs. And god forbid if we ever asked the question as to why we choose to marry or have children. Sometimes one would be better off not marrying someone, or having children, but we do it because society “expects” us to. Or that we feel that we need to be with someone. Some of us are meant to marry and have children, certainly. We would die as a species if we didn’t! But it is not necessary for all of us to.


I know this sounds cynical and I don’t make it to be. What I want it to be is a challenge to step back and just think, think real hard, about life (and being alive) and the choices we make. But this isn’t a question of second chances, it is a challenge to continue to move forward in life, with the consequences of my life so far, and move forward as best as I can to make it ENJOYABLE. Not stuck in situations that are satisfactory. How many of us simply tolerate life? We have consumerism surrounding us, but how much of it is necessary? The challenge is to get to the basic values of life, the basic values of living. What do we need to make us happy, truly happy? The challenge is to try at least once a day to make a decision that you want to make because it is what you want to do, not what society or others want you to do. Surly the difficulty will lie in that our actions do affect others, and it is important to keep this in mind. Our living should not impose on the quality of the life of others, but this is hard because we are social beings. But it is important too to not allow the social aspect of our lives control our lives entirely, but to simply support it.

Balance of Nature

There has always been some sort of balance in nature. If there is not, mass chaos would ensue and destruction would take over the harmony that we witness every day. The balance is not always equal as each side sways back and forth as it struggles to gain equality. Equality, however, is also not possible because of natural changes in our environment. More important than the natural changes to the environment are the changes as a result of our own actions on this planet. More often than not, humans strive to survive as long as possible and whatever means may bring us to a longer, healthier, and safer life, are often use regardless of what positive/negative outcomes may occur. Humans often detrimentally treat the natural world and our relationship with nature has not always been a good one. Sadly, even though we are aware of the many ways our behavior may harm nature, we often ignore our responsibility to protect our natural environment. We often neglect (not always purposefully) the natural world we live in. Many, especially in the developed countries are so accustomed to using natural resources for our benefit that we (conveniently) forget that either many of them are not renewable or that many of the healthy renewable options are safer and healthier to use. We must remember that the earth has naturally survived without humans for billions of years and it will find a way to adapt and survive while humans spend time here. It is important to remember that there is a much larger picture here, much larger than the thousands of years that humans will inhabit this earth. I am certainly not the first person to notice this or write about it, but I feel a duty to carry the message on as a duty to nature, as part of our coexistence, as part of our relationship. What is in the past and what could become of the future isn’t entirely known to us, but is it not really is our responsibility to nature to try to leave this earth the way we found it for whatever might come after us?

My struggle within...

I am trying to learn how to channel my inner self and my desire to write about nature. What nature is still needs to be defined, but learning how to put my thoughts into words is my first struggle. The definition of nature will come second. Creative writing is not a strong point for me but I figure the only way to see if it is in me is to practice. You’re my audience so any and all feedback is appreciated. I hope to have weekly blogs about some sort of natural subject. Hopefully, if I am lucky, it will be about a recent experience. I will begin this week about a recent camping experience that I had. My goal of the trip was to reconnect with the solitude of nature and the subject of birds was secondary.

Birds

I have never really been that drawn to birds. And though I thoroughly enjoy my time in the wilderness, I am not much of a bird watcher and I must admit that I find it rather dull and boring. I often think of Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds any time I see a group congregating – as if they are plotting an attack other than the little white droppings they normally leave behind. I’ve always been skeptical of their behavior. They are needy little animals always stalking me looking for a free handout, or maybe it’s the fact that a chicken’s eyelids are upside down, I’m not sure. Regardless, their behavior has always seemed more of a nuisance than something I enjoyed.

Other than watching the flamingos at the zoo, the only joy I’ve ever found in bird watching came from finding the California Condors that live in the walls of the Grand Canyon. I was determined to find them after hearing of their history and knowing that only a few survived in the wild. I think this was more a quest to find the bird due to its rarity than that of its being a bird. Once I found one, I was in awe of the clumsiness of its large size. It began to stare at me and I knew by its beak that it was a bird I did not want to cross paths with, also because its ugly bald head and pink neck. Perhaps it is the notion that birds are, for the most part, harmless to humans, I’m not quite sure. I do sincerely appreciate their existence and I realize their importance to the natural world, especially the food chain. I would never wish them all dead but watching them has never been of interest to me.

With my appreciation for nature, I thought I would give the bird another chance. Recently, I went camping and did a little research about the birds that I could find in the area. I set up my tent near a remote part by a lake in hopes that it would increase my chances of watching the birds. I went for a long hike as well as a long rest by the water in search of as many birds as I could find. Not knowing enough to recognize them by name, I did see their many differences in sizes, colors, and sounds.

The heron though, was one that I recognized and I watched for a good two minutes before I was diverted to a large crow flying overhead. Maybe it is more of an issue of patience for me but the heron walked slowly in the water, very slowly, as if it was near death without energy while the crow flew by only twenty feet above me and I could hear the wind cut through its wings. As I was hiking, I could hear two birds, one about thirty yards behind me and another about twenty yards in front of me. I could not see either one of them, but I thought they were having a conversation by their sounds. Perhaps they were talking about me. I heard another bird off in the distance making a noise that sounded much like a siren sounding off a warning, perhaps of my presence.

My experiment was proving to be successful. I was learning about their different calls and the fact that they really did speak a language to each other. I had a new respect for these animals. Even in my tent right after the sun went down I could still hear many of them chattering away. I went to sleep that night thinking that I had a new and improved appreciation for birds. I was enjoying the fact that I came to appreciate their sounds, their communication, their behavior, but even more, their existence. The next morning however I was woken up early by the sounds of a crow cawing to his friends and inviting them over to my tent and they began digging into my food bag. I had realized that all my experiences the day before were just their plot to find me and steal my food. This quickly put them back on my list of disdain.

What is Nature and what does Nature writing do for you?

I was recently put in a position where I had to decide if making “The history of US Nature Writing” one of my doctorial exam fields was worth it. From the perspective of one of the professors: would it help me obtain a job? Make me more marketable? Or what I secretly thought was the main factor: Why? Nobody cares.

In a day and age where technological advances and busy lifestyles limit the time we spend in natural places, nature writing should be an integral way for people to enjoy someone’s experience of such relations. It seems that “nature” is becoming more of a retreat or a weekend getaway for most people, but for me it has become a lifestyle. One of my goals is to open awareness of our natural environment and to help start a dialogue on the advantages of time spent in nature (whether it’s personal advantages or environmental advantages such as trail maintenance). There are many reasons why people do not get out and enjoy the “wilderness”. They range from lack of interest – to lack of means. By writing about it, I feel that at least I can bring a piece of the experience to their home among other reasons.

I was left to define nature and decide whether it was “worth” it. Well of course the answer to the latter was Yes! But the former was much more difficult to answer. What, in my definition, would help me justify studying/researching such a topic? For starters, most topics within nature writing are very closely related to the historical significance of the time. We can look at various periods of US history and see distinctions in writing that are a result of such events. (Check one for Value of the topic). Secondly, nature writing is used as a documentation of environmental changes (Barry Lopez, for example, Check two for Value). Thirdly, it’s a form of artistic expression (Thoreau, Muir et al) And think about how involved Muir was in the formation of national parks! (Check three!)

But what else? What else is out there that helps to justify the importance of such a topic. I welcome any comments/suggestions/thoughts/advice that you may have. And please, pass this short blog on to anyone you think could help! Nature and the idea of wilderness is such an important/integral part of our lives, whether we enjoy it, whether we love it, whether it is simply just a part of life. Thank you for your time!

What is Wilderness?

Can "wilderness" be defined? To what degree? Is something wild if it doesn't have any attachment to civilization? How much of it does there need to be to be considered wild? A cat that has never had a home? A small patch of land that has never been cultivated? Defining "wilderness" tends to pose a problem - one of interpretation. For example, yesterday I went camping at a state park. It was a dismal day, misting, foggy, chilly, and it was in the middle of the week. These conditions virtually made the park empty. I was the only person in the two primitive camp grounds (meaning you had to hike your belongings into the campsite, and some campsites are almost 1/2 a mile from the parking lot) and only 3 RV sites that were occupied. My interpretation therefore, was that yes, I was in the wilderness. I was sharing a couple hundred acres with only a few people. And I was the only one in a tent. I was able to hear the crickets, birds, coyotes, and other critters running around day and night. But is it really wild? Any given weekend, especially during the summer, there are hundreds of not thousands of people in this state park. How wild is it when I can hear the jet planes approaching a nearby airport every five minutes? How wild is it when I can hear the cars off in the distance going over the dam of the lake? It's all in interpretation. For me, my experience was wild. I had the shelter of my tent and I was sharing it and the surrounding area with nothing else but the natural environment. I was vulnerable. But does vulnerability make something wild? Perhaps not. But for me, this experience was different than if I would have stayed during the summer months or weekends when it was more populated. The presence of others would have made it a less wild experience even though it was the same campsite and the same tent. Civilization removes wilderness. At least that's how I see it now....

The beginning of Nature... as hope...

There are many aspects of our world that intrigue me. Not as someone who belongs to a community, a culture, a religion... but someone who belongs to something more basic: Nature. For me, this is the beginning... face it, without nature, we would not be here. Some may disagree with what I just said bringing in religious or philosophical questions, but what I want to understand is the most basic natural elements that are necessary for our survival. This the essence of this blog, for me, and hopefully for you, as a reader, is to discuss and contemplate the natural world around us. How do we positively (and more often) negatively influence, or interact with nature. How does nature over come us? How do we try to overcome Nature? These are the real and sometimes philosophical questions that plague my mind day in and day out. For me, this blog is a release, but also a way to discuss these issues. Feedback is always appreciated, discussion is always welcome. Dialogue is extremely important. I hope for nature, but nature hopes as well.