My struggle within...

I am trying to learn how to channel my inner self and my desire to write about nature. What nature is still needs to be defined, but learning how to put my thoughts into words is my first struggle. The definition of nature will come second. Creative writing is not a strong point for me but I figure the only way to see if it is in me is to practice. You’re my audience so any and all feedback is appreciated. I hope to have weekly blogs about some sort of natural subject. Hopefully, if I am lucky, it will be about a recent experience. I will begin this week about a recent camping experience that I had. My goal of the trip was to reconnect with the solitude of nature and the subject of birds was secondary.

Birds

I have never really been that drawn to birds. And though I thoroughly enjoy my time in the wilderness, I am not much of a bird watcher and I must admit that I find it rather dull and boring. I often think of Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds any time I see a group congregating – as if they are plotting an attack other than the little white droppings they normally leave behind. I’ve always been skeptical of their behavior. They are needy little animals always stalking me looking for a free handout, or maybe it’s the fact that a chicken’s eyelids are upside down, I’m not sure. Regardless, their behavior has always seemed more of a nuisance than something I enjoyed.

Other than watching the flamingos at the zoo, the only joy I’ve ever found in bird watching came from finding the California Condors that live in the walls of the Grand Canyon. I was determined to find them after hearing of their history and knowing that only a few survived in the wild. I think this was more a quest to find the bird due to its rarity than that of its being a bird. Once I found one, I was in awe of the clumsiness of its large size. It began to stare at me and I knew by its beak that it was a bird I did not want to cross paths with, also because its ugly bald head and pink neck. Perhaps it is the notion that birds are, for the most part, harmless to humans, I’m not quite sure. I do sincerely appreciate their existence and I realize their importance to the natural world, especially the food chain. I would never wish them all dead but watching them has never been of interest to me.

With my appreciation for nature, I thought I would give the bird another chance. Recently, I went camping and did a little research about the birds that I could find in the area. I set up my tent near a remote part by a lake in hopes that it would increase my chances of watching the birds. I went for a long hike as well as a long rest by the water in search of as many birds as I could find. Not knowing enough to recognize them by name, I did see their many differences in sizes, colors, and sounds.

The heron though, was one that I recognized and I watched for a good two minutes before I was diverted to a large crow flying overhead. Maybe it is more of an issue of patience for me but the heron walked slowly in the water, very slowly, as if it was near death without energy while the crow flew by only twenty feet above me and I could hear the wind cut through its wings. As I was hiking, I could hear two birds, one about thirty yards behind me and another about twenty yards in front of me. I could not see either one of them, but I thought they were having a conversation by their sounds. Perhaps they were talking about me. I heard another bird off in the distance making a noise that sounded much like a siren sounding off a warning, perhaps of my presence.

My experiment was proving to be successful. I was learning about their different calls and the fact that they really did speak a language to each other. I had a new respect for these animals. Even in my tent right after the sun went down I could still hear many of them chattering away. I went to sleep that night thinking that I had a new and improved appreciation for birds. I was enjoying the fact that I came to appreciate their sounds, their communication, their behavior, but even more, their existence. The next morning however I was woken up early by the sounds of a crow cawing to his friends and inviting them over to my tent and they began digging into my food bag. I had realized that all my experiences the day before were just their plot to find me and steal my food. This quickly put them back on my list of disdain.